The Random Lives of Axel and Roxas
by Lonepichu
Summary: Random stories about the daily lives of Axel and Roxas. AxelRoxas theme
1. Meat Shield

Axel ran down the halls of Organization XIII's strong hold. He was being chased by Demyx, who was weilding his guitar in preparance to smash the living daylights out of Axel. "COME BACK HERE WITH MY ICECREAM!"

"NEVER!" Axel shouted over his shoulder, running as fast as he could. Axel threw one of his blades over his shoulder at Demyx, causing him to drop his guitar. Demyx cursed and continued the chase unarmed.

Roxas was wandering the halls, reading an intriguing book of poetry, when he heard the approaching stampede. Roxas quickly glanced around, but saw no means of escape or cover. Before Roxas could brace himself, Axel and Demyx were upon him. Axel grabbed Roxas and held the boy in front of him. "What, dare I ask, are you doing?" Roxas asked, bewildered.

"I dare you to penetrate my meat-sheild!" Axel taunted, cowering behind Roxas.

"Meat-sheild?" Roxas looked from Axel to Demyx and blinked. "I'm not a-"

"Meat-sheilds don't talk." Axel held a finger to Roxas' mouth.

"Fine, I see how it is," Demyx held his hands out and caught the meatsheild under the arms and tickled. Roxas fell to the ground laughing.

"Some meatsheild you are," Axel crossed his arms with an annoyed expression on his face.

"And the icecream is mine once again!" Demyx held up the tub of sea-salt icecream victoriously. Axel began to mourn for the lost icecream as Demyx walked away, chugging the tub.

"Don't worry, I have the rest of his icecream in my room," Roxas whispered into Axel's ear.

Axel instantly perked up, "Should I bring the spoons?"

"Oh, we won't be needing those," Roxas grinned.

"I like your style." the two walked off to indulge themselves in the cream of ice, gaining two pounds each, though Axel still remained unnatuarally skinny.

THE END


	2. Roxas Boxers

Roxas spotted a pile of sea-salt icecream wrappers and knew that Axel was nearby. sure enough, after turning the corner, Roxas spotted his red-maned friend. Smiling, Roxas looked down at Axel and tapped him on the shoulder. Axel jumped and stood up, "Xemnas, I was just..." then Axel noticed that it was Axel. "Roxas, you had me going there."

"Sorry, but it's a good thing I found you. Room inspection today." Roxas began to help Axel gather up the icecream wrappers. The two then walked to the kitchen to throw them away.

"Why exactly are you telling me this? There's nothing at all suspicous in my room." Axel began to lick an icecream covered finger.

"My boxers?" Roxas looked accusingly at Axel.

Axel blushed and began to hurry off, "Be right back!" he shouted over his shoulder.

"Speaking of which, I suppose I should return his toothbrush," Roxas put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Nah," he decided and whistled to himself as he began to head towards Axel's room to retreive his garments.


	3. Crossword Puzzle

Roxas ran quickly, keyblades at the ready, down to Axel's room. Roxas kicked the door open and prepared for the worse, but saw Axel just sitting at his desk with Roxas' boxers on. Roxas let his keyblades disappear before he shouted, "WHAT THE HECK? YOU CALL ME DOWN HERE SAYING THAT YOU AR EIN MORTAL DANGER AND I FIND YOU IN MY BOXERS SAFE AS CAN BE!"

"But I AM in mortal danger! I'm starving and this is my only way to icecream heaven." Axel motioned at the paper. "My boxers are dirty and there was a pair of yours lying around so..." Axel trailed off as Roxas looked at the paper.

"You're doing a crossword? How hard could it be? And why does your well-being depend on it?" Roxas plopped down on Axel's bed and laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

"Well, okay, this word here crosses five down, however I can't discover a word that fits that has an X in it. Anyone who completes this crossword and returns it to the icecream stand in Twilight Town gets a free box of sea-salt icecream pops. I have to win, but it's no good." Axel slumped in the chair.

Roxas shook his head, knowing that this was mortal danger for his red-maned friend. "Okay, what's the one you're having trouble fitting?" Roxas asked as he sat up and looked inquiringly at Axel.

"This creature breathes fire and is one of the chinese zodiac symbols. These creatures also gave knights trouble in medievil times." Axel read, spinning his pen around between his fingers.

"That's easy, it's a dragon." Roxas laid back down, closing his eyes. He was tired because he had stayed up all night doing the same exact crossword puzzle, though he'd never tell Axel that.

"I know, but five across has an X in it where the G should go, so I'm stumped."

"Five across? What's five across?"

"A five letter word for a being sent from heaven that's perfect and holy, though not as holy as the great one who rules over the far plain."

"Angel? But that doesn't have an X in it."

"Mine does," Axel showed Roxas the paper and he saw that Axel had put 'Roxas' as five down, "because you're my angel. Got it memorized?"

Roxas smiled and felt a tear come to his eye, he was touched. Instead of saying anything, Roxas walked over to Axel and embraced him. The two then shared a sweet kiss from one's angel to the other's.


	4. Shower Time

Author's Note: The only reason why Axel sings "My Hump" in this part is because I find that extremally hilarious. I don't own that song, nor do I own KHII charcters.

"What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk," Axel sang as he lathered his hair. Taking a shaower was one of the few things Axel enjoyed as much as scarfing down icecream and Roxas, of course. "I'm gonna get get get you drunk..."

Roxas walked into Axel's room, searching for the red-maned pyro-manic, because Roxas had discovered that his entire drawer of boxers was now completely empty. Roxas didn't mind Axel borrowing his udnerwear, but he wanted to at least have a pair to wear after his shower. "Axel, where are you?" Roxas called. That's when he heard singing coming from the bathroom.

"My hump, my hump my hump my hump..." Yep, that was Axel singing alright, though why Axel was singing My Hump was beyond Roxas. That's when Roxas hatched a brilliant plan. Roxas rubbed his hands together and grinned evily.

Opening a door to darkness, Roxas stepped inside, reappearing in Vexen's room. "Hello Vexen, can I have a bucket of ice?"

"Why?" Vexen narrowed his eyes.

"Axel's in the shower and..." Roxas was soon cut off by Vexen.

"Say no more!" Vexen eagerly handed Roxas a bucket of ice, Vexen controlling the ice element and all, he's able to do these things. "This one is extra cold," Vexen also rubbed his hands together evily. Roxas smiled and nodded, opening a door to darkness and entered Axel's room once again.

Roxas sneaked over to the shower, where Axel was singing the chorus at the top of his lungs. Roxas readied the bucket, then dumped it on Axel. Cursing and other such profanities were flying from Axel's mouth. Axel then must have tripped on one of the cubes, for he came flying out of the shower, taking the shower-curtain with him, and knocking Roxas and the bucket over and onto the floor. Axel landed on top of everything else in his birthday-suit (naked).

"Have I ever told you how graceful you are, Axel?" Roxas pushed the bucket, curtain, and naked man off of him.

"You little, that was cold!" Axel shouted. Roxas did not seem bothered by the fact Axel was naked, however Roxas handed Axel a pair of his boxers to put on.

"You deserve it, did you have to take ALL my underwear? How am I supposed to get a shower with no underwear?" Roxas put his hand son his hips and glared at Axel.

"Like this," Axel grabbed Roxas and dragged him into the shower.

"HEY! What the-" Axel put a finger to Roxas' lips and undressed him. Axel then began to scrub Axel's hair. Axel then dunked Roxas underwater and had him scrub his back.

"Better?" Axel grinned, handing Roxas a pair of his boxers. Roxas took the boxers and grumped, putting them back on. "You can't say you didn't enjoy that." Roxas grunted. "I'll take that as a yes. As for the boxer thing, yours are so comfortable and mine are, well, what kind of fabric softener do you use?"

"You just want to get in my pants! There are easier ways, you know!" Roxas sat on Axel's bed and turned his back on his friend.

"Care to show me?" Axel climbed up on the bed and grinned at Roxas.

"You have a filthy mind," Roxas pounced and pinned Axel to the bed, "and slow reflexes." Roxas then kissed Axel. Axel didn't bother to shove him off, nor did he bother to turn the water off in the shower. That'll be a nice little chunk of money for Xemnas when he pays the water bill. Needless to say, Xemnas will not be happy when he finds out.


	5. Icecream Machine

"An icecream machine?" Roxas look at Axel incrediously. "You made an icecream machine?"

"Yes, behold the awesomeness," Axel removed the sheet from a bulky object sitting on his table and revealed an oddly shaped machine. It had two funnels and a chamber that could be opened.

"It looks prone to explosion. Is that thing safe?" Roxas poked the machine, causing a part to fall off.

"Who cares? It'll make sea salt icecream in a pinch!" Axel exclaimed, grinning like a cheshire cat. "No more waiting in line at the grocery store! No more fighting with Demyx over the tub and popsicles! This is my greatest stroke of genius ever!"

"How's it work?" Roxas asked, hiding the peice he had broken off behind his back. "Not that I think this is a sane idea or anything, but how could you possibly make a machine work?"

"Observe," Axel picked up some tubs of icecream he had sitting on the floor. The flavours ranged from Vanilla to pistachio to peanut butter rocky road. "First, insert icecream." Axel dumped the tubs into one of the funnels. "Then," Axel picked up a bucket of water, "insert salt water." Axel dumped the bucket into the other funnel. "Now, push the blend button." Axel mashed the red button as the machine sputtered and clanked. Roxas eyed the machine warily, prepairing to take cover is necesary. The machine began to smoke and jump, then stopped and made a sound like a wind up toy coming to a stop. "An viola!" Axel opened the chamber and a horrid smell that made Roxas went to wretch floated from the machine. "Ahh, the stench of success."

"You're a moron!" Roxas sighed, shaking his head. Roxas peered into the chamber and saw a horrid mix with a faint brown-green color. "Is that safe to eat?"

"Let's find out," Axel handed a spoon to Roxas and took one for himself.

"Haven't you tested this before?" Roxas asked as he accepted the spoon.

"Nope, I wanted you to be here to see it's first usage." Axel looked up at roxas, who sighed and shook his head. Axel always got to what he had instead of a heart.

"Well, lets try it," Roxas tried to smile, but it was hard with the icecream stench. Axel and Roxas dipped in their spoons and pulled up a gob of the soupy, icecreamy, sea-salty mix. Roxas sighed and gritted his teeth, "Do it for Axel," he coached himself silently. Roxas put the spoonful in his mouth and ran to the bathroom, wretching. Axel nibbled at his spoonful thoughtfully (how he's nibbling on a spoon of icecream, I have no idea).

"I don't understand, why does it taste like deer droppings? I followed the recipe perfectly. Salt water, since I don't know where a sea is close by, and ice cream." Axel sighed, dejectedly.

"Idiot, that's no where near the recipe," Roxas came out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth. Axel was looking at his own feet and felt like crying. Roxas shook his head and walked over to his friend. "Come on, lets go to Twilight Town for icecream, my treat." Roxas knelt down and looked into Axel's irredescent green eyes. Axel smiled and wiped a tear away.

"Alrighty!" Axel jumped up triumphantly. "Who needs ice cream when I've got you," Axel smiled and ran a hand through his red mane of hair.

Roxas shook his head, smiling, "And who needs logic or sanity when I've got you," The two intertwined their fingers as they entered the door of darkness and went to Twilight Town.


	6. Twinkle Little Star

"So it isn't a fairy tale," Roxas breathed in amazement at the sight before him.

"Hmm?" Axel inquired, coming over beside Roxas. The two were in Port Royal on the wall overlooking the ocean.

"Diamonds that dot the sky in a brillinat fashion. It's something I remember from my life...as a somebody. It was a song, a fairy tale, to them." This was the first time that the sandy blonde had seen the night sky somewhere else besides The World that Never Was.

"A song? Sing it for me," Axel grinned, turning to face Roxas and putting his hands behind his head.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going to sing," and with that, the moment of Roxas being open to the red-maned pyromaniac was over.

"Please?" Axel folded his hands in front of him, got down on one knee, and begged.

"I hate it when you do that." Roxas folded his arms and looked at Axel with one eye open. Axel was begging with all of his might. Roxas finally sighed and began to sing better then what he expected, though he still didn't want to do it. "Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky." Roxas was blushing like mad, but Axel was looking at him with a thoughtful expression. "See, just a stupid children's song." Roxas turned away and examined the cannon beside him.

"Don't be like that, it's a neat little diddy. No wonder it enraptures children." Axel grinned. Roxas just shook his head. Only Axel would say 'diddy' in a serious sentance. "Sing it again!" Axel clapped his hands together.

"You're a moron," Roxas sighed and went back to staring up at the stars. "There are so many worlds out there, you know? When you think about it, what we're doing is pretty insignificant..." Roxas trailed off, the stars reflecting in his clear blue eyes.

"Twinkle twinkle little bat. How I wonder where you're at. Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky," Axel recited, grinning as he looked over at Roxas, who raised his eyebrow at Axel. "A poem by Lewis Carrol that makes fun of that song. I never knew what it was making fun of until you sang that. Kind of makes you think if all of those things up there are stars. Anyways, why are you so impressed with them? We have stars back at the castle." Axel leaned back against the wall and yawned.

"Not real ones, they're simulated and they aren't as brilliant as these," Roxas sighed, taking in the night's spectacle.

"True, that's what I hate about the castle. Nothing is real there...we're not even real." Axel walked from the wall and bent over, sighing. "It's kind of depressing, once you actually think about it."

Roxas just stared at his friend. Axel could go from happy to annoying to depressed to childish in three seconds. Roxas knew it was best to give him a moment before hsi mood changed in, Roxas held up his fingers, thre...two...one... "Let's get some seasalt icecream! It'll make the stars seem even better." Axel was grinning and bouncing about like an eager toddler.

Roxas just smiled to himself and continued to watch the spectacle, his chin resting on his hand as he leaned on the wall, ignoring Axel. "It's funny, you know, not exsisting and being in a place that actually exsists. It's weird," Roxas whispered to himself. He wasn't truely paying attention to the stars anymore, but he didn't feel like hearing Axel whine.

"Please Roxas," Axel begged, "don't tease me anymore." Roxas turned to see a very desperate man that was in great need of icecream.

"Okay, I'll go with you, but," Roxas held up a finger and looked down slyly at Axel, "you have to sing for me the song about the star." Roxas was grinning evily, but Axel refused to be bested.

"Oh, okay," Axel cleared his throat and in his worst oprea singing voice began to sing, "When you wish upon a star, makes no differance who you are!" Roxas had his hands over his ears as Axel continued to song.

"Ax, man, shut up," Roxas clamped a hand over the green-eyed man's mouth. Axel just licked his hand, and since Roxas wasn't wearing his gloves, his toungue made contact with flesh. "You are so disgusting," Roxas whined as he wiped his spit covered hand on his cloak.

"Well, you said sing the song about the star," Axel said innocently.

"You knew what I meant," Roxas shook his head. Why did he even bother? "Come on, let's get soem icecream." Roxas opened a door to darkness, entering grudgingly. Axel walked up beside him and took the hand that he had licked in his. Annoyed as Roxas was, he didn't pull his hand away as the two left Port Royal. 


	7. Creation

"Well, this is boring," Roxas sighed as he rested his pale chin on a black, silk gloved hand. Only Roxas would wear such a material, being slightly girlish. Even his face held a feminine charm that Axel found hard to resist.

"Are you kidding," Axel turned his green eyes to Roxas and spoke in a voice that oozed with sarcasm, "I wouldn't trade guarding the entrance to the castle dungeon for anything." Axel ran a hand through his flaming red hair, which was in need for another dyeing as his dark brown roots were starting to show through the red mane. "Considering we don't even have anyone in there. I guess Xemnas is running out of jobs for us to do."

"You're the reason why he doesn't trust us. If you wouldn't bug him so much, than maybe he might let us actually fight." Roxas wasn't complaining, but he wasn't very happy either. Axel laughed slightly and rumpled Roxas' sandy blonde hair. Blue eyes gazed unapprovingly up at his elder.

"Oh contrair, the reason why we don't do anything is because I'm stuck with babysitter duty for you," Axel teased in a manner unlike himself. Roxas sensed this and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's with you? And you're only two years older than me, so I'd hardly call that babysitting." Roxas looked up at Axel, who had a solemn look upon his face.

The two remained silent for some time before Axel took a deep breath and spoke. "This very well might be our last mission together." Axel leaned over the railing that overlooked a black abyss below them and spanned out to form an elegant view of the nonexsistent city that rested just beyond the void.

"What makes you think that? At the rate we're going, we'll be de-promoted before either one of us is promoted." Roxas looked up at Axel with worry, which he never really did since usually Axel was annoying him or forcing him to use what little munny they made to buy him a sea salt icecream pop.

"Because, well, it's you." Axel pointed to Roxas' hands. "Well, that keyblade of yours."

Roxas frowned. Up until this point, Axel had been the only one who hadn't said anything about Roxas' ability to weild a keyblade. Roxas knew he was a freak because of this, but Axel had never said anything about it, and Roxas felt, dare he think it, safe and at ease when he was with Axel. He always felt as if he had to defend himself to the other members of the organization. "What about it?" Roxas got defensive, jumping back and glaring at Axel with rage.

"Unfortunately, the time is drawing near for you, my friend. Heh, I've never been serious about much, but now at what may become our last meeting, it seems I'm showing a differant side of myself to you," the red maned man stood in silence before starting once more. "I don't want to bring this up to you, but it's a fact of life that, even though you don't have a heart, you have a keyblade. It's true that nobodies can feel, though we lack the heart to solidify these feelings, so it's odd that you should weild such a weapon."

Roxas turned from Axel with his arms crossed. He didn't want to hear anymore. Axel just shook his head and continued, "The thing is, and I'm not supposed to tell you, but you're special to me and I don't want to keep anything from you, anyways, your somebody-or whatever you would call your other form-is still around. You weren't born like other heartless and because of this, you're important to the organization. Xemnas wants to use you, though I'm not exactly sure for what, but it's nothing good for you. He put you in my care so that you wouldn't find out about your somebody and go run off and do anything stupid, but that's beside the point."

"What is the point? That you were stuck with babysitting the freak?" Roxas' anger was apparent as he turned to face Axel, ready to draw his weapon.

"Well, that's what my job is, but that's not what I'm saying. Actually, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, but your somebody is out there and that's your ticket out of this eternal purgatory. You could have true feelings and be whole again." Axel looked at his friend and felt true sorrow.

"Axel," Roxas' hand dropped to his side, "but, I am whole," he mumbled, slightly embaressed at what he was admitting.

"Hmm?" Axel inquired, not having heard what his other said.

"I said," Roxas took a deep breath, "that I am complete," Roxas turned away, "because I have you."


End file.
